Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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