her vagine was all disorganized.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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