Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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