glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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