So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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