new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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