I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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