it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
