12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize