Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
