Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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