dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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