scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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