Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
