Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
