i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
