Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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