I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
