Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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