im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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