Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
