elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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