know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
