The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
