Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
