I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
