I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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