She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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