her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
