i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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