i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize