i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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