This is not my ceiling
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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