a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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