We're facebook friends in real life
kristin has been a bad kristin
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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