i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
love makes seman taste better
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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