I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will be naked everywhere
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
