someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
