Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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