i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
