Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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