have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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