did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
