I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
