He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
