I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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