It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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