I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
