im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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