If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
