My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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