covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
