I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
