Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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