she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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