She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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