They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
