Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
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I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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