he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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