Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
