Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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