It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
