I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
