Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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