I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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