i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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