my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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